dont use this anymore.. www.xanga.com/unreachablebaby_x3

well.

i am at this guy named Will's house........

today was so wierd.

Jeff broke up with me


and i have FEELINGS for Andrew STILL.

so yeah.

??????????????????/

im thinking about making my journal friends only.

people are leaving me fucking gay comments.//////////


but anyways.......

this is prolly gonna be my last entry that just anyone can view.

I AM SO FREAKIN UPSET.

i dont want to feel this way......so UNWANTED..

donno what to do.

ah.

10 Things That Make Me Happy! [In no particular order]

1. friends
2. Jeff
3. the used
4. music in general
5. scary movies
6. cuddling
7. food
8. fridays
9. hot tubs
10. being in grawn(ha)

Then tag six friends to do the same....
1.
2.
3.
4. everyone HA
5.
6.

i hate the way you talk to me.and the way you cut your hair.i hate the way you drive my car.i hate it when you stare.i hate your big dumb combat boots.and the way you read my mind.i hate you so much it makes me sick;it even makes me rhyme.i hate the way youre always right.i hate it when you lie.i hate it when you make me laugh.even worse when you make me cry.i hate it when your not around.and the fact that you didnt call.but mostly i hate the way i dont hate you.not even close.not even a little bit.not even at all.

"Cut Up Angels"

If we cut out the bad
Well then we’d have nothing left
Like I cut up your mouth
The night I stuffed it all in
And you lied to the Angel
Said I stabbed you to death
If we go at the same time
They'll clean up the mess

I lost my head
You couldn’t come
This lust to my brain almost feels like a gun

Watched you bite into the bottle
Watched me kick out the chair
Let you chew up the glass
And laughed as you just hung there
I have thought of rose petals mostly perfect and pure
Then I thought of your petals
And the abuse they’ve been through

I lost my head
You couldn’t come
This lust to my brain almost feels like a gun
You lost your head
I couldn’t come
This lust to my brain almost feels like a gun
Whoa whoa

I told the angels
Cant stay in heaven
I asked the devil
If we cut out the bad well then we'd have nothing left
Like I cut up your angels
Yeah you stabbed me to death

I lost my head
You couldn’t come
This lust to my brain almost feels like a gun
You lost your head
I couldn’t come
This lust to my brain almost feels like a gun


"Bulimic"

From the way that you acted
to the way that I felt it
It wasn't worth my time
and now it's sad cause all I missed
wasn't that good to begin with
and now that I've started you begging
saying things that you don't mean
it isn't worth my time
a line's a dime a million times
and I'm about to see all of them

Goodbye to you, goodbye to you, you're taking up my time [x3]
Goodbye to you, goodbye to you

You call my name when I wake up
to see things go your way
I'm coughing up my time
each drag's a drop of blood a grain
a minute of my life
it's all I've got just to stay down
why the fuck am I still down
I'm hoarding all that's mine
each time I let just one slip by
I'm wasting what is mine

Goodbye to you, goodbye to you, you're taking up my time [x3]
Goodbye to you, goodbye to you

My time [x3]

I'm about to see a million things
I thought I'd never see before and I
I'm about to do all of the things
I've dreamed of and
I don't even miss you at all
[x2]

Goodbye to you, goodbye to you, you're taking up my time [x7]
Goodbye to you, goodbye to you

Well..Jeff asked me out yestday..but im so EXTREMELY scared that hes gonna hurt me. he didnt even cALL me today.... i called him and he was hanging out with Tara...yeah that makes me worried..but i guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens..
:(:((:(:(:(:(
i really like him ALOT..
its hard for me to show it after MATT..
:(:(:((:(:(:(:(::(
okay..bye.
Alyssa

p.s.
the only thing worse then not knowing. is you not knowing that i know.

i gotta get out of here..

im BEGGING you to be my ESCAPE!!!!

SERIOUSLY. this weekend was crazy.

okay..

FRIDAY- Alexa and Lindsay and i hung out at my house till the 3rd quarterish of the game (CENTRAL LOST THEIR HC GAME HAHA)lol sorry..anyways..i guess a girl brought a gun. hmm...tc is so ghetto.

SATURDAY- Andrew was like "hey im with my friend Jeff and were goin to hang out wanna come?" so they came and picked me up. And me and Jeff just really seemed to hit it off right away. And Andrew (this is not Gary..its the kid i just met) kept like bitching to Jeff like saying me and him were practically dating and i was HIS (wtf) and so I got really irratated. But im so glad i met Jeff!

SUNDAY- Jeff took me to see a movie..ah..its that deep blue whatever lol. it was a good movie! and we were there with some of his friends..and it was fun. then we went to this kid Will's house..Andrews brother..im just gonna call Andrew Gary: Gary..and the other Andrew: Dr. Croc. so i dont confuse myself. lol. anyways..Will made a fucking minivan/limo and its so fuckin sweet. lol then we went to Rays..again..and it was fun.. it was Ray.me.Jeff.Dr.Croc.Will.some skinny kid.Gary,and Tara. And a couple other kids came later. Ray even busted out the microphone and Will was like burping in it. lol but yeah..it was fun.

AND JEFF'S GOING TO HC WITH ME!!!):


*Seriously..ive never felt this way..except with Matt..and so im exciteeeeeeed!

Well. i best be off. im in bst. lol

i had a convo with Alexa about why she likes the V instead of the P. lol wow..that was weird..lol
i love her!

k peace nig.

Alyssa Ashley

Well. i finally confronted someone about something thats been bothering me..kinda. so its all good now. I think tonight im hanging out with Carl..but idk. i cant WAIT for homecoming! its gonna be AWESOME! heck yes..
too bad no GUY wants to go with me awwww..
its okay tho! last night i went with my Gma..my Aunt..Ashley..and Allyson Billy to RED LOBSTER for her bday! i got her the BREAKFAST CLUB MOVIE! then later we watched LAGUNA BEACH! the COMPLETE first season yeahhhh
anyways..i might go to the library tonight. its so nice out i wanna ride my bike! i think my Dads in MACNAC and i hope hes there for another day and night cuz hes annoying and mean . so anywho! JOHN*im sorry! i feel bad cuz u did all the work ill make it up 2 u!
Justin and Travis threw pens at me last hour..alright!
im getting hungry already. i dont want to go to LIT next hour..im having troubles writing my story..because we have to make everything up..but like..with heros..monsters..and gods and goddesses and schtuff!!!!!! yikes.
well..i guess im gonna go.
PEACE NIG!
x3Alyssa

p.s.

HOOOOT.

Yeah. Well i def. cant wait for homecoming. its def. gonna rock! And me and Amanda are thinking about inviting AUBS AND JOSIE!! thatd be so awesome!

Last night pretty much sucked. I hung out with Tara and Andrew(my ex) who were hooking up. sweet i know. and Ray, and the othe Andrew(who i guess likes me idk). We went to the mall. they smoked so much in the car..it made me sick..especially after i gave in and had uno cig. SICK. but ya know..

oh, and before that was the SPECTACULAR counslers appt. Let me tell you.. NEVER AGAIN. I got so mad this time..that i actually walked out..
and then the counsler came and asked me to come back in for a minute..but that just was poinless.

I think i know whose been leaving me comments..its just said that their too pussy to admit it..i mean come on..seriously..its not like i can kick anyones ass..i just WANT to..

Well.. I think i have pink marker on my face..like a line..i tried to wash it off inbetween classes..but i def. gave up. Well..im off like a prom dress!!


MUCH <3..

Alyssa Ashley